Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. How many things have been dysphoric? In almost 53 years, need memory, concentration and consciousness to count them. Was relieved when diagnosed. Sadness and loss of interest, but not depression. Anxiety. Muscle and joint pain. Overthinking, worrying and obsessing in future tense.

Where is the moment, the so called here and now? Breathing helps. Doing helps. Hormones are doom crazy, but body still works. Mind can be trapped, but experience might save.

Burning eyes and a slice of disappointment. Immersion under ice could perhaps stop ANTs. Blood.

Not at present? Tomorrow… wounded. Never give up.